25. happy again, just like that.

well, me and lee aren't arguing any more.
and dickhead tom is not only talking to me, he's actually maybe considering paying me my money back.
and franky and me are on talking terms, and he's got a new girlfriend.
i'm now well enough to be in school and do my mocky-mocks, in a room on my own, but not really in exam conditions, so i can talk to people, get cups of coffee, and text.
i'm not losing any more weight, which is annoying, but everything else is going alright.

i'm high as a motherfucker right now, which is nice :)

ooh, did i tell you? i'm going away with cara during half term (next week, monday to friday) - cant wait. it'll be good to get away from bicester and everyone, and i haven't seen matty or emily (cara's step-brother and sister) in ages- more than half a year i think. CANT WAIT :)
will be updating this blog if i remember though :P

ooh, i've just realised something...
'if you seek amy', by britney spears, is a bit shit.

anyway, peace out, peeps, talk soon :) x




if i were in your shoes - you me at six
if it's lovin' that you want - rihanna
if you seek amy - britney spears
in the sun - joseph arthur

24. suicide.

well it's starting to seem like an amazing idea.

all this stuff has happened in my life since i last posted, and i really cba to mention it all.

i'm so stressed out, and i just cant help thinking that the only way to escape it all is just to top myself.

then franky would realise what a dick he's being. and lee would as well, though he's no where near as much of a dick in the first place. maybe tom would realise as well, but i doubt it. then my friends would actually WANT to spend time with me. and my parents wouldn't be wishing i was perfect, they'd just be wishing i was still here.

it's the perfect solution, the only problem is that i dont want to give up. which i guess is a good thing, cause it makes it alot less likely that i'll actually kill myself, but it still feels like shit.

i was to get put back on anti-depressants, but i dont know if they'll do it. need to go see the doctor. desperately.

i've been ill for a week and a half now, and stressed out, depressed, having panic attacks, crying constantly, and having pointless arguments. anyway, i dont want to put any more, i'm gonna go to bed. (well i have been awake for a whole hour now...)

peace out.



this love, this hate - hollywood undead