people keep saying i've changed, but i dont understand how i'm supposed to not change when all these shit things keep happening. i'm feeling desperate for anything to pull me out of this, drugs, anything.
i feel like i'm drowning, and nothing can save me, or wants to. nothing ever changes, even if you try your hardest to make it. i'm feeling more isolated from everyone now, and i know this means depression, but i'm doing all i can to stop it taking hold.
unfortunately the only thing that stops this feeling is good old marijuana. everything else in life just fails at the moment.
i cba to write anything about what's going on. loads of shit's happened, but i just cant face sitting down and writing it all down.
i will say, that for the first time while being really high, my depression hasn't gone... i feel better, but it's still there. and i smoked some fucking high grade... quite alot of it...
maybe this is how it's a gateway drug- you look for something else to get you high cause weed stops working as well. well hopefully i wont become so stupid that i start taking them. harder drugs, i mean.
come and get me - timbaland feat. tony yayo and 50 cent
kill yourself - timbaland feat. sebastian and attitude
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