well, on the one hand, there's about 11 inches of snow, which is amazing for where i live, and it looks all amazing, and the school's closed.
on the other hand, i'm still fat, new years resolutions failing at life. also, all boys are wankers, and i cant think of a single guy i know without thinking about how wankerish he is.
lee seems so nice, but i know he cant be. there are constant lovey-dovey messages on his facebook from his 'ex', who doesn't seem to know they've 'broken up'... i mean, he never comments back to them, but he doesn't comment me back either... maybe this is just how he treats girls? if he isn't actually SEEN flirting back with them, then he cant get in trouble for it...
the horrible thing, is that he acts the same way i've been acting around guys since i broke up with franky. i never used to act like this, but...
every guy that flirts with me, i flirt back with. if any guy tries to kiss me, i kiss him back. etc. and yet i never mention dating, and just try and keep it sort of... not-up-for-discussion. i've been asked out a couple times since breaking up with franky, and both times i've said no, i'm not interested in a relationship, and tthat i just wanna be single. basically "yeah, you're nice, but if i go out with you, i cant see other guys too."
i never thought about how harsh this is until it's happening to me... but then again, it doesn't hurt as much as what tom did. doesn't hurt as much as what happened with ollie either. but it's just... knowing that he could invite me round his house, we could watch a movie together, end up doing stuff, then he could just go round some other girls house that evening, without it being my business, is depressing...
but, i know what'll make me feel better, and that's getting reeeeeeeally high round his house and watching yesman.
trudging through the snow for like half an hour or more is the bit i'm not so much looking forward to... might just lau the whole thing off and stay in bed and online all day...
incase you think "shitt, there's no music at the end of this blog..." it's because my ipod's upstairs :( it's very unusual for me not to have music playing. i have my phone, but my mum hates all the music on it and it doesn't have headphones. oh well, see ya. x
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