new years eve, at last. last day of 2009.
going out round my best mate's sister's house. em (the sister) says i can smoke weed in her garden, which is good, cause i dont wanna drink really, but i wanna be off my face.
my new years resolution is going to be to not eat chocolate or sweets. or buy snacks when i'm out.
most people would say, given that i have millions of bad habits, that i should quit smoking, quit drugs, join the gym, get a healthy sleeping habit.
but in all truthfulness, i dont give a shit about healthiness, i just want to be thin again. used to be anorexic, and i just want that thinness again, okay?!
at the end of the day, my final, decided, perfect new years resolution is this: get to 7st 7lbs. 7 and a half stone. not to bad, right? i mean, could be worse. i'm 8st 9 at the moment, i think. well, i dont remember exactly, i try not to weigh myself any more. but i know i'm fucking fat, and i cant stand it any more.
i dont care if i have to go back to looking at pro-anorexia websites. or reading journals or something. i just want to trigger myself back into it for a year or so.
today's not a good day, particularly, i'm very ill, bad cough and sore throat mostly.
but hopefully i'll be able to get bud today, so i'll have to walk to pick it up. then i'll have to walk all the way across the town i live in, and to a nearby village, because that's where my friend lives.
and i'm not going to eat anything else today. i can get the munchies as bad as i want - at the end of the day, it's just me being greedy, like normal, it's just like the drug's amplifying the feeling. i've already had a bowl of crunchy nut this morning. luckily, not so ludicrously tasty- dont want any more xP
it's not even 10 yet, during the holidays, and i'm awake, breakfasted, and going to have a shower as soon as my mum's finished in the bathroom. then back online to find a dealer. then out to pick up. then back to get ready, then out with cara, then to her sister em's house :D
i think it's gonna be a good day- i hope so anyway. and all of this, with no guys included. guys only make things worse, really. all they do is bring you down.
one of the reasons i've been gaining weight so much recently is that i'm a really bad comfort eater, and i've been having a really bad time recently. over the last month or two, all i've done is eat when i'm upset, then cheer myself up by getting high, then eating loads more. it's a really bad habit, so now it's gonna be a new year, and i'm determined, like almost everybody else in the UK, that things are gonna change! i'll let you know how it's going next time i write...
oh, i wish i'd written this while i was really high, rather than just a bit last night, cause last time was so funny... honestly dont think there are many things more entertaining. but i gotta read it back through now to make sure it's not too retarded...
peace out. x
3 AM - eminem
my mom - eminem
bagpipes from baghdad - eminem
hello - eminem
December 31, 2009
December 29, 2009
18. bad mood gone, i'm kaned (Y)
well, life is good, isn't it?
i was annoyed earlier, cause i hardly seem to go out at the moment, just seem to sit in front of the computer/ lay in bed watching skins, all day. then a couple of mates i met through tom, keiran and jack, called for me and we went on an epic mission in the rain to find an open garage we could sit in to make a spliff. that was alright, though we were mostly just complaining about the cold the whole time. and by the time we found a decent, open garage to sit in, they both had to be home, so we just ground the bud, then put it back in the bag for another time. the thing that annoyed me was that i was telling them about tom stealing a tenner then ignoring me, after he'd asked me out, and then keiran told me that tom had been bragging to them about stealing my money, and taking the piss out of my name, and telling them that he was gonna shag me then dump me, THEN telling them that we'd fucked - which, no fucking chance mate. i couldn't help but get really upset, though it didn't hit me til i was sitting home alone on facebook yet again...
but i just went out and had a spliff, so i feel much better now. this wasn't as much an angry rant as it usually would be, cause i'm really chilled out now, it's just me keeping you up to date, so i dont have to ramble on about it at a later date before i can say something else.
i cant think of anything else i need to update you with at the moment, except that lee hasn't texted me for a day and a half now, so i'm thinking he might just turn out to be a dick yet. woo. i know that's a bit presumptuous, but i'm just waiting for him to turn out a wanker, and i want it to be sooner, rather than later, when i've fucked him and got all attached...
oh, and there's something else as well. wow, i'm on a roll today, i keep expecting to have forgotten what i'm saying halfway through a sentance, but this seems to be going okay. it's alot easier when you can read back over what you're saying. anyway, the something esle was, i have to get up at 5.30 tomorrow, because my dad's picking me and my mum up to drive us to the police station in oxford for my caution. it's going to be really awkward in the car, as my mum gets really travelsick when she sits in the back of cars, so she'll have to sit next to my dad, which i'm actually more worried about than the actual caution. you see, my parents HATE each other. it'll be horrible. and we have to be there by 8AM, so my dads picking us up between 7AM and 7.15, which means i'm giving myself an hour and a half to get ready... great, so i'll look even more shit than usual while getting told off by the police.
i know i sound really ranty, but i'm not bothered about any of this at all right now. and this, ladies and gentlemen, is the perfection of life that is, weed. i think i'm overdoing it a bit at the moment, because i'm smoking it every day just to have a good time, but i'm having such a crap time in general at the moment, that i just need a pick-me-up. i know some people think of this as a bad thing, that drugs make you forget all the crap and take you out of reality a little bit- i mean, that's the attraction of heroin and shit, isn't it?- but really, nothing bad can come of it. weed doesn't have a physical addiction, and you cant OD on it, so whats the problem with getting temporarily a bit hooked on it? and i know that druggies say 'temporarily' and it means fuck all, but with me it's different (i know that's a cliche too), because i know if i had to go without it, due to lack of funds, i wouldn't have a massive problem. and if i ever needed to stop, i know i could. i'm the same with cigarettes. i honestly just dont thinki i have an addictive personality. i know this all sounds a load of addict bullshit, but it's the truth, and if i have anywhere to be truthful other than my thoughts, it's a blog in the middle of cyberspace that nobody that knows me knows about, so i'm just coming out with what's in my head, to be honest.
i know that for the most of this post, it's ramblings and gibberish, and i look forward to reading it when sober, so thanks for reading (that way if anybody does actually ever read this, they'll know it's appreciated.) wow. gotta stop babbling. anyway, peace out. x
everything - p money
get sexy - the sugababes
falling - agent x feat. mutya and ultra
work - the saturdays
confusion girl (shame shame shame) - frankmusik feat. tinchy stryder
this time - dj antoine
all or nothing - n-force
sunchyme 09 - dario g
i was annoyed earlier, cause i hardly seem to go out at the moment, just seem to sit in front of the computer/ lay in bed watching skins, all day. then a couple of mates i met through tom, keiran and jack, called for me and we went on an epic mission in the rain to find an open garage we could sit in to make a spliff. that was alright, though we were mostly just complaining about the cold the whole time. and by the time we found a decent, open garage to sit in, they both had to be home, so we just ground the bud, then put it back in the bag for another time. the thing that annoyed me was that i was telling them about tom stealing a tenner then ignoring me, after he'd asked me out, and then keiran told me that tom had been bragging to them about stealing my money, and taking the piss out of my name, and telling them that he was gonna shag me then dump me, THEN telling them that we'd fucked - which, no fucking chance mate. i couldn't help but get really upset, though it didn't hit me til i was sitting home alone on facebook yet again...
but i just went out and had a spliff, so i feel much better now. this wasn't as much an angry rant as it usually would be, cause i'm really chilled out now, it's just me keeping you up to date, so i dont have to ramble on about it at a later date before i can say something else.
i cant think of anything else i need to update you with at the moment, except that lee hasn't texted me for a day and a half now, so i'm thinking he might just turn out to be a dick yet. woo. i know that's a bit presumptuous, but i'm just waiting for him to turn out a wanker, and i want it to be sooner, rather than later, when i've fucked him and got all attached...
oh, and there's something else as well. wow, i'm on a roll today, i keep expecting to have forgotten what i'm saying halfway through a sentance, but this seems to be going okay. it's alot easier when you can read back over what you're saying. anyway, the something esle was, i have to get up at 5.30 tomorrow, because my dad's picking me and my mum up to drive us to the police station in oxford for my caution. it's going to be really awkward in the car, as my mum gets really travelsick when she sits in the back of cars, so she'll have to sit next to my dad, which i'm actually more worried about than the actual caution. you see, my parents HATE each other. it'll be horrible. and we have to be there by 8AM, so my dads picking us up between 7AM and 7.15, which means i'm giving myself an hour and a half to get ready... great, so i'll look even more shit than usual while getting told off by the police.
i know i sound really ranty, but i'm not bothered about any of this at all right now. and this, ladies and gentlemen, is the perfection of life that is, weed. i think i'm overdoing it a bit at the moment, because i'm smoking it every day just to have a good time, but i'm having such a crap time in general at the moment, that i just need a pick-me-up. i know some people think of this as a bad thing, that drugs make you forget all the crap and take you out of reality a little bit- i mean, that's the attraction of heroin and shit, isn't it?- but really, nothing bad can come of it. weed doesn't have a physical addiction, and you cant OD on it, so whats the problem with getting temporarily a bit hooked on it? and i know that druggies say 'temporarily' and it means fuck all, but with me it's different (i know that's a cliche too), because i know if i had to go without it, due to lack of funds, i wouldn't have a massive problem. and if i ever needed to stop, i know i could. i'm the same with cigarettes. i honestly just dont thinki i have an addictive personality. i know this all sounds a load of addict bullshit, but it's the truth, and if i have anywhere to be truthful other than my thoughts, it's a blog in the middle of cyberspace that nobody that knows me knows about, so i'm just coming out with what's in my head, to be honest.
i know that for the most of this post, it's ramblings and gibberish, and i look forward to reading it when sober, so thanks for reading (that way if anybody does actually ever read this, they'll know it's appreciated.) wow. gotta stop babbling. anyway, peace out. x
everything - p money
get sexy - the sugababes
falling - agent x feat. mutya and ultra
work - the saturdays
confusion girl (shame shame shame) - frankmusik feat. tinchy stryder
this time - dj antoine
all or nothing - n-force
sunchyme 09 - dario g
December 25, 2009
17. christmas and christmas-related things. sort of.
well, happy christmas. today, i got a new phone. and other random things i'll have forgotten about in a few weeks/days. oh, and £20 to buy an 8th next time i can be bothered. the phone is really good though, and it only has 2gb of memory (compared with a 160gb ipod), but it's fit loads of my music on, so i'm really happy with that :)
and anyway, i haven't written in ages (well, 3 days... that's a long time for me...), so, you dont know that i'm practically going out with lee. he's franky (my ex's) best mate, well one of them. this makes things complicated. plus we've kind of liked each other since before me and franky even knew each other. but anyway, he's just so NICE. and i thought he was only in it for one thing, which is why i was suprised by him being so consistantly non-dickheadish, but it turns out he actually likes me.
then again, i think this about EVERY guy who ever likes me. oh, i bet he's a dickhead. and his reputation certainly says that. but he seems so nice. then you go through the whole we've-just-met-and-we-never-stop-texting bit, which makes you think he's even nicer, for being so attentive and paying you so much attention. then comes the "so, are you gonna sleep with me? i'm now never going to talk to you unless it's about sex or you lending me money." and, well this has happened to me with so many guys. and happened with ollie tonight. he's always going on about how he really likes me, and wants to go out with me, and really cares about me, and is happy to be just friends so he can spend time with me, then suddenly, the texting stops, and like a week or just under that later, i get a message from him on facebook "wanna meet up tonight and get laid? lol". well, that's it. i've been told by SO MANY PEOPLE that he just fucks girls and doesn't give a shit about them, but he seemed genuinly nice. and so does lee, plus he's more shy, which just seems sweeter. it doesn't work out too well though, cause we both really like each other, but i'm like the shyest person ever, and he's really shy too, so we just walk around talking and holding hands and stuff. it's really nice, and we had our first kiss last night, so i dont really mind.
he's going to amsterdam for 8 days the day after boxing day, so i'm gonna try not to miss him seeing as we're not even like going out or anything. it's so hard not to get attached, but then again, at least we haven't slept together yet. which is quite suprising. the other day (day before yesterday, actually, cause i was grounded before that), he was like "i have a free house, you should come round ;)" i needed to go into town first for some last-minute christmas shopping, then back to my mums for a shower, but i said sure. i shaved everything, put on sexy undies, went round, we put on a funny film... then we sat in silence next to each other for hours barely touching and laughing awkwardly xD
okay, so it wasn't anywhere near as bad as that...
but it was pretty bad. but it was his 18th birthday recently and he got given a big bottle of russian vodka, so we both had 2 double vodka and cokes. and we talked a fair bit, and went out into his garage for a couple fags. and we were holding hands by the end of the film. but his parents were due back then, and i had to go home at some point soon, and needed to make a detour to the shop for cigarettes, so we just chatted awkwardly, and left.
next time, i dont think it'll be quite that awkward...
i mean, we've kissed once, hugged alot, and held hands alot since that nervous first time, so things should be okay.
even though i'm shy, people seem to think i'm a bit of a slag. i dont really get why- i've only slept (or done anything with, for that matter) one person, who i was in a serious relationship with. and i dont exactly go to parties every weekend, getting off with everyone in the room. i mean, i go to the parties, but i dont slag about while i'm there, like most of my friends, because i'm just not that sort of person. i'm way too shy, and even if i weren't, i dont think i'd do that.
anyway, i've been rambling for quite a while now, and my brother's waiting to go on my dad's laptop, so i'd better come off now. 2009 is the best year of my life so far, by far :) no depression, no anorexia, no general teenage angst. okay, some of all of that, but not that much. not compared to previous years. plus, i had the whole franky thing this year. and that was good. it was actually when i started dating him that i was consistantly happy for the first time in my life, really. just before summer this year. but it wasn't him, well, not just him, it was the gain in confidence that made me happier, even if that was caused by him. so yeah, this year has been great. i just hope that the years continue to improve, really. PEACE OUT. x
holiday - dizzee rascal
i could say - lily allen
i don't wanna go to sleep - n-dubz
knock 'em out - lily allen
new in town - little boots
old time's sake - eminem feat. dr. dre
and anyway, i haven't written in ages (well, 3 days... that's a long time for me...), so, you dont know that i'm practically going out with lee. he's franky (my ex's) best mate, well one of them. this makes things complicated. plus we've kind of liked each other since before me and franky even knew each other. but anyway, he's just so NICE. and i thought he was only in it for one thing, which is why i was suprised by him being so consistantly non-dickheadish, but it turns out he actually likes me.
then again, i think this about EVERY guy who ever likes me. oh, i bet he's a dickhead. and his reputation certainly says that. but he seems so nice. then you go through the whole we've-just-met-and-we-never-stop-texting bit, which makes you think he's even nicer, for being so attentive and paying you so much attention. then comes the "so, are you gonna sleep with me? i'm now never going to talk to you unless it's about sex or you lending me money." and, well this has happened to me with so many guys. and happened with ollie tonight. he's always going on about how he really likes me, and wants to go out with me, and really cares about me, and is happy to be just friends so he can spend time with me, then suddenly, the texting stops, and like a week or just under that later, i get a message from him on facebook "wanna meet up tonight and get laid? lol". well, that's it. i've been told by SO MANY PEOPLE that he just fucks girls and doesn't give a shit about them, but he seemed genuinly nice. and so does lee, plus he's more shy, which just seems sweeter. it doesn't work out too well though, cause we both really like each other, but i'm like the shyest person ever, and he's really shy too, so we just walk around talking and holding hands and stuff. it's really nice, and we had our first kiss last night, so i dont really mind.
he's going to amsterdam for 8 days the day after boxing day, so i'm gonna try not to miss him seeing as we're not even like going out or anything. it's so hard not to get attached, but then again, at least we haven't slept together yet. which is quite suprising. the other day (day before yesterday, actually, cause i was grounded before that), he was like "i have a free house, you should come round ;)" i needed to go into town first for some last-minute christmas shopping, then back to my mums for a shower, but i said sure. i shaved everything, put on sexy undies, went round, we put on a funny film... then we sat in silence next to each other for hours barely touching and laughing awkwardly xD
okay, so it wasn't anywhere near as bad as that...
but it was pretty bad. but it was his 18th birthday recently and he got given a big bottle of russian vodka, so we both had 2 double vodka and cokes. and we talked a fair bit, and went out into his garage for a couple fags. and we were holding hands by the end of the film. but his parents were due back then, and i had to go home at some point soon, and needed to make a detour to the shop for cigarettes, so we just chatted awkwardly, and left.
next time, i dont think it'll be quite that awkward...
i mean, we've kissed once, hugged alot, and held hands alot since that nervous first time, so things should be okay.
even though i'm shy, people seem to think i'm a bit of a slag. i dont really get why- i've only slept (or done anything with, for that matter) one person, who i was in a serious relationship with. and i dont exactly go to parties every weekend, getting off with everyone in the room. i mean, i go to the parties, but i dont slag about while i'm there, like most of my friends, because i'm just not that sort of person. i'm way too shy, and even if i weren't, i dont think i'd do that.
anyway, i've been rambling for quite a while now, and my brother's waiting to go on my dad's laptop, so i'd better come off now. 2009 is the best year of my life so far, by far :) no depression, no anorexia, no general teenage angst. okay, some of all of that, but not that much. not compared to previous years. plus, i had the whole franky thing this year. and that was good. it was actually when i started dating him that i was consistantly happy for the first time in my life, really. just before summer this year. but it wasn't him, well, not just him, it was the gain in confidence that made me happier, even if that was caused by him. so yeah, this year has been great. i just hope that the years continue to improve, really. PEACE OUT. x
holiday - dizzee rascal
i could say - lily allen
i don't wanna go to sleep - n-dubz
knock 'em out - lily allen
new in town - little boots
old time's sake - eminem feat. dr. dre
December 22, 2009
16. missing the ex...
i really miss franky.
he's the guy i broke up with the other week.
it's not that i miss him specifically, i dont think. i just miss having somebody to cuddle up to when things went wrong, and who always cared so much :( i just cant seem to stop crying at the moment, and i know that none of the guys in my life would, or could ever care as much as he used to care. he was so wrong for me, and i never liked him any where near as much as he liked me. it was a rare case of it actually being "best for him" if we broke up, even if he doesn't/didn't see it. but now i'm feeling sorry for myself, little old me all on my own, which is rediculous, because it's all my fault, and because i still think i made the right decision...
anyway, just really needed to whine for a bit, and i've done just that, so i'm gonna go and watch scrubs, cause it'll stop me crying, hopefully :) then again, i might just listen to some happy music instead of depressing shit...
anyway, peace out. x
i miss you - incubus
always attract - you me at six
ghosts - laura marling
he's the guy i broke up with the other week.
it's not that i miss him specifically, i dont think. i just miss having somebody to cuddle up to when things went wrong, and who always cared so much :( i just cant seem to stop crying at the moment, and i know that none of the guys in my life would, or could ever care as much as he used to care. he was so wrong for me, and i never liked him any where near as much as he liked me. it was a rare case of it actually being "best for him" if we broke up, even if he doesn't/didn't see it. but now i'm feeling sorry for myself, little old me all on my own, which is rediculous, because it's all my fault, and because i still think i made the right decision...
anyway, just really needed to whine for a bit, and i've done just that, so i'm gonna go and watch scrubs, cause it'll stop me crying, hopefully :) then again, i might just listen to some happy music instead of depressing shit...
anyway, peace out. x
i miss you - incubus
always attract - you me at six
ghosts - laura marling
15. guys, again :(
i know, ALL my posts are about men. except the last one, obviously. but still :(
i've realised something- out of the 3 guys that i hang around with at the moment, 2 want to date me, 1 just wants to fuck me. and the 1 that just wants sex is the only one i want to go out with..
then again, i'm already seeing tom, one of the guys who wants to date me...
and he's started talking to me again now, even if only to pester me to stay round his house...
which, obviously, i cant, cause i'm grounded :D
there are up-sides to it :)
anyway, i really have to go...
peace out! x
the dope show - marilyn manson.
the dope show - marilyn manson.
i've realised something- out of the 3 guys that i hang around with at the moment, 2 want to date me, 1 just wants to fuck me. and the 1 that just wants sex is the only one i want to go out with..
then again, i'm already seeing tom, one of the guys who wants to date me...
and he's started talking to me again now, even if only to pester me to stay round his house...
which, obviously, i cant, cause i'm grounded :D
there are up-sides to it :)
anyway, i really have to go...
peace out! x
the dope show - marilyn manson.
the dope show - marilyn manson.
14. "it's a long story..."
but, erm, you're gonna hear it anyway...
basically, me and my friend got caught shoplifting yesterday.
wow, if you didn't have a low opinion of me already, you do now...
then again, nobody reads this, so i dont really care...
basically, we were about to leave topshop, and this woman who saw us pressed the alarm, and made us take the stuff out of our bags and follow her back through the shop, up through the second floor, topman, and into the back room. she called the police, who took and an hour and a half the show up, then they called our parents, and searched our bags.
they found we both had shoes from new look, and marched us there, dragging us all through the shop and out the back to apologize to the manager. we got banned from both shops, and the managers actually were very lenient, saying that we weren't going to be arrested, and that we could go home.
they said they'd call soon to tell us whether we were being prosecuted or just getting like a formal caution for it. they called me this morning, and told me that i have to go to the police station in the city we were shopping in for a disciplanery something-or-other, and that i'mnot being prosecuted, or getting a criminal record, which is brilliant news :)
so, yeah, i'm gonna probably not do that from now on...
well, i wont be so stupidly reckless. everybody always used to tell me that i was really reckless with it, cause i've never given a shit about getting caught before, but my parents basically didn't do anything this time, except ground me for a couple of days and give me a bit of a lecture, so i dont want to do it again, as i've convinced them i'm a changed person...
they have a lot of respect, and trust for me- well, my mum does- and i've never done anything to break that trust before, so it's gonna take a bit of rebuilding...
anyway, a new blog for my general news, i think...
peace out for now. x
who knew - eminem
the bird and the worm - the used
kill the lights - the birthday massacre
the dope show - marilyn manson
basically, me and my friend got caught shoplifting yesterday.
wow, if you didn't have a low opinion of me already, you do now...
then again, nobody reads this, so i dont really care...
basically, we were about to leave topshop, and this woman who saw us pressed the alarm, and made us take the stuff out of our bags and follow her back through the shop, up through the second floor, topman, and into the back room. she called the police, who took and an hour and a half the show up, then they called our parents, and searched our bags.
they found we both had shoes from new look, and marched us there, dragging us all through the shop and out the back to apologize to the manager. we got banned from both shops, and the managers actually were very lenient, saying that we weren't going to be arrested, and that we could go home.
they said they'd call soon to tell us whether we were being prosecuted or just getting like a formal caution for it. they called me this morning, and told me that i have to go to the police station in the city we were shopping in for a disciplanery something-or-other, and that i'mnot being prosecuted, or getting a criminal record, which is brilliant news :)
so, yeah, i'm gonna probably not do that from now on...
well, i wont be so stupidly reckless. everybody always used to tell me that i was really reckless with it, cause i've never given a shit about getting caught before, but my parents basically didn't do anything this time, except ground me for a couple of days and give me a bit of a lecture, so i dont want to do it again, as i've convinced them i'm a changed person...
they have a lot of respect, and trust for me- well, my mum does- and i've never done anything to break that trust before, so it's gonna take a bit of rebuilding...
anyway, a new blog for my general news, i think...
peace out for now. x
who knew - eminem
the bird and the worm - the used
kill the lights - the birthday massacre
the dope show - marilyn manson
December 19, 2009
13. life.
it's probably a good thing that nobody i know (or anybody i dont know, for that matter...) reads my blog. it's bloody weird, and i only skim-read a couple of posts...
anyway, last night sucked a bit. went to my dads at about 5, and then walked round the shop. talked to a couple of toms (and his ex's) mates from the smokers crowd at school. chatted with them for a bit, they were going on about how much of a dickhead tom is (i was agreeing obviously), then i left. while walking home, i called tom with my number on withheld, and he picked up. i asked if he was still coming out, and he said he was, and that of course i'd get my money back, and that he was at his nans, but he'd be coming back to my town at about 9.
i went out with lee for a bit, which was okay. then i went home and was bored til about 9.30. i called tom again, and all i got was this:
me: hey, it's meg.
tom: safe.
me: you in ______ yet?
tom: no.
me: do you know when you'll get here?
tom: dunno.
then he hung up on me.
so yeah, haven't spoken to him since then. there's not much i can do. if i text him or talk to him online, he can just ignore he and blame it on the technology. if i ring him, he doesn't answer, unless it's on withheld. and we're off school for a couple weeks now, so i wont even see him in school, so this SUCKS. why cant he just not be a dick to me? i dont get it- a couple weeks ago, he was texting me non-stop, always wanting to meet up, wanting me to stay round his, and now suddenly he's stealing money off me, ignoring me, and showing his pic of me to everyone.
ahrejkdngsjnglirn1ilhenrtlsjntrhgntj;knhsltnhlsnjlhtnt7nshlktnskgsrngvkhrbgkurgvberkibfaujknuygunhbcfiunusig4tymxtiiuermuegisgciyrmhgxuhumyxsrhgcsm37y1hrecuimvsubvse4yrmutbsdx943iysthm321cmrtugbhn6uirtcmhbs432i6ugsrutgms3rtjhbust5hbgutrmgcutrshgburnhiusgth9nrvgrutinvmhitroumhvgtriudtnvomhdrseyehtrhjhsryjrjytyggsdt5zfgxjhmxzsdjhgmyrtujigvxzsd21jfgtretyuiokjrsdfuhgjfhdfeiuywgtf4iygtu6yrgwyrwgw4uth4aiuygruyawtg4iu3aygwuytai4grutajuhgkuwgtfjhsfgrhesgswghrukygty78uiehgtsiuytgthyui.
anyway, enough about that. enough about everything, actually, cause i cant write any more.
i have no plans today, which is probably why i'm in a suckish mood, so if i keep ranting, i'm just gonna get more down.
bagpipes from baghdad - eminem
hello - eminem
same song and dance - eminem
we made you - eminem
anyway, last night sucked a bit. went to my dads at about 5, and then walked round the shop. talked to a couple of toms (and his ex's) mates from the smokers crowd at school. chatted with them for a bit, they were going on about how much of a dickhead tom is (i was agreeing obviously), then i left. while walking home, i called tom with my number on withheld, and he picked up. i asked if he was still coming out, and he said he was, and that of course i'd get my money back, and that he was at his nans, but he'd be coming back to my town at about 9.
i went out with lee for a bit, which was okay. then i went home and was bored til about 9.30. i called tom again, and all i got was this:
me: hey, it's meg.
tom: safe.
me: you in ______ yet?
tom: no.
me: do you know when you'll get here?
tom: dunno.
then he hung up on me.
so yeah, haven't spoken to him since then. there's not much i can do. if i text him or talk to him online, he can just ignore he and blame it on the technology. if i ring him, he doesn't answer, unless it's on withheld. and we're off school for a couple weeks now, so i wont even see him in school, so this SUCKS. why cant he just not be a dick to me? i dont get it- a couple weeks ago, he was texting me non-stop, always wanting to meet up, wanting me to stay round his, and now suddenly he's stealing money off me, ignoring me, and showing his pic of me to everyone.
ahrejkdngsjnglirn1ilhenrtlsjntrhgntj;knhsltnhlsnjlhtnt7nshlktnskgsrngvkhrbgkurgvberkibfaujknuygunhbcfiunusig4tymxtiiuermuegisgciyrmhgxuhumyxsrhgcsm37y1hrecuimvsubvse4yrmutbsdx943iysthm321cmrtugbhn6uirtcmhbs432i6ugsrutgms3rtjhbust5hbgutrmgcutrshgburnhiusgth9nrvgrutinvmhitroumhvgtriudtnvomhdrseyehtrhjhsryjrjytyggsdt5zfgxjhmxzsdjhgmyrtujigvxzsd21jfgtretyuiokjrsdfuhgjfhdfeiuywgtf4iygtu6yrgwyrwgw4uth4aiuygruyawtg4iu3aygwuytai4grutajuhgkuwgtfjhsfgrhesgswghrukygty78uiehgtsiuytgthyui.
anyway, enough about that. enough about everything, actually, cause i cant write any more.
i have no plans today, which is probably why i'm in a suckish mood, so if i keep ranting, i'm just gonna get more down.
bagpipes from baghdad - eminem
hello - eminem
same song and dance - eminem
we made you - eminem
December 18, 2009
12. why you dont send nudey pictures to someone in your school.
this was on monday, but since i haven't written in ages, i'll just tell you now...
me and my friend hanna were walking through school grounds near the end of lunch, and tom's little brother, ben (looks EXACTLY like tom, it's weird) shouted "YOU'RE FIT!" at one of us. he was standing near this kid david, who me and hanna were in a classroom with next (we had personal study). we didn't really think anything of it, and just went off, but after lunch and form, we went to the bungalo (it's like a little building near school where all the no-hope kids go, to put it really shortly).
we were in the room with david, and the teachers had all gone, and he went "ben said his brother had a picture of your tits on his phone." to hanna, who looked very suprised, and annoyed. she was so worked up about it, babbling on and on "are you sure it was me?! i'm gonna get him done for sexual harassment!" he said "i dont know, i think so. he pointed at both of you, said that, then shouted "you're fit", so i dont know who he meant." then hanna turned to me. i'd just told her that breaktime that i was seeing tom.
so yeah, i got the piss taken out of me for the rest of the lesson about it. but i really didn't care- me and hanna couldn't stop giggling, and she said "well you either have to laugh or cry about it!", and since i didnt feel like crying, i settled for laughing. for some reason, it just didn't bother me that much. it didn't have my face in, just like, my chin downwards. and i'm wearing knickers. so it could have been alot worse. tom didn't have a lot to say about it, just mumbled some crap excuse for telling/showing his brother, and changed the subject...
but THAT is why i never get involved with guys at school. never. it's just such a bad idea. for so many reasons. especially, dont date an immature dickhead. (if you date somebody at school, then you're probably doing that already, cause EVERY guy under the age of 18 is an immature dickhead. and most of them will still be like that in 5 years.
then again, i'm not going out with tom. i'm "seeing him", as far as he knows, but as soon as i get my fucking money back, i'm not going near him again.
because of both tom incidents, and the fact that i was ill and on facebook all day for 2 straight days this week, and my epic lack of money, i've been in a shit mood ALL week, but now, it's the holidays, i'm done with tom, and i should have money soon cause my mate (who actually WILL pay me back, hopefully) owes me £20, so hopefully my mood will pick up this weekend.
then again, i was supposed to be seeing paramore tonight, and i'm not, so that's a bit suckish. and lydia's not staying, not that there'd be anything to do. in fact, i'm doing nothing this evening, except going round my mate amy's to drink and babysit her little brother. THAT is how exciting my life is right now...
anyway, i'd better go, i'll try and keep you posted, but i'm at my dad's for the next week, so i might not be online at all.
must be the ganja - eminem
bonkers - dizzee rascal
i'm yours - jason mraz
wii go crazy - dougal and gammer
always attract - you me at six
the curse of curves - cute is what we aim for
right round - flo rida feat. ke$ha
welcome to the club - manian
me and my friend hanna were walking through school grounds near the end of lunch, and tom's little brother, ben (looks EXACTLY like tom, it's weird) shouted "YOU'RE FIT!" at one of us. he was standing near this kid david, who me and hanna were in a classroom with next (we had personal study). we didn't really think anything of it, and just went off, but after lunch and form, we went to the bungalo (it's like a little building near school where all the no-hope kids go, to put it really shortly).
we were in the room with david, and the teachers had all gone, and he went "ben said his brother had a picture of your tits on his phone." to hanna, who looked very suprised, and annoyed. she was so worked up about it, babbling on and on "are you sure it was me?! i'm gonna get him done for sexual harassment!" he said "i dont know, i think so. he pointed at both of you, said that, then shouted "you're fit", so i dont know who he meant." then hanna turned to me. i'd just told her that breaktime that i was seeing tom.
so yeah, i got the piss taken out of me for the rest of the lesson about it. but i really didn't care- me and hanna couldn't stop giggling, and she said "well you either have to laugh or cry about it!", and since i didnt feel like crying, i settled for laughing. for some reason, it just didn't bother me that much. it didn't have my face in, just like, my chin downwards. and i'm wearing knickers. so it could have been alot worse. tom didn't have a lot to say about it, just mumbled some crap excuse for telling/showing his brother, and changed the subject...
but THAT is why i never get involved with guys at school. never. it's just such a bad idea. for so many reasons. especially, dont date an immature dickhead. (if you date somebody at school, then you're probably doing that already, cause EVERY guy under the age of 18 is an immature dickhead. and most of them will still be like that in 5 years.
then again, i'm not going out with tom. i'm "seeing him", as far as he knows, but as soon as i get my fucking money back, i'm not going near him again.
because of both tom incidents, and the fact that i was ill and on facebook all day for 2 straight days this week, and my epic lack of money, i've been in a shit mood ALL week, but now, it's the holidays, i'm done with tom, and i should have money soon cause my mate (who actually WILL pay me back, hopefully) owes me £20, so hopefully my mood will pick up this weekend.
then again, i was supposed to be seeing paramore tonight, and i'm not, so that's a bit suckish. and lydia's not staying, not that there'd be anything to do. in fact, i'm doing nothing this evening, except going round my mate amy's to drink and babysit her little brother. THAT is how exciting my life is right now...
anyway, i'd better go, i'll try and keep you posted, but i'm at my dad's for the next week, so i might not be online at all.
must be the ganja - eminem
bonkers - dizzee rascal
i'm yours - jason mraz
wii go crazy - dougal and gammer
always attract - you me at six
the curse of curves - cute is what we aim for
right round - flo rida feat. ke$ha
welcome to the club - manian
11. catching up.
haven't written in AGES... well, a few days. lots has happened, and i just haven't felt like writing it all down.
update: tom's a dick. a complete dick.
wanna know the story? it's a pretty long one, starting last weekend... well, okay, since you insist...
basically, every day last weekend, we were supposed to be meeting up. and every evening, i just got blanked. there were actually a few excuses though, so i didn't mind too much. but we were supposed to be meeting up monday afternoon (the only time we'd have actually ever met up during the day instead of at night...), and instead, he blanked me all afternoon, and called me at about 9, saying "come out to the garages by your house. bring a tenner." i didn't really have the money, but i said "sure".
i went to meet him, and he told me the plan. i'd give him the £10, him and cameron (random kid he was with who i'd never met before) would go and get the weed while i waited at my house, then he'd call me when they were back, and i'd come out and we'd smoke it. i reluctantly handed over the tenner- when i'd asked him why i was paying for the lot (we were only getting a ten bit), he said he'd buy on friday to pay me back- and went home.
he called me about 10 minutes later and said "it's too last, we cant get it, i'm gonna go home." i was pissed off- he'd promised he wouldn't do that, but i just said, "fine, but only if we meet up now and you give me my money back." he hung up on me, then texted me saying "cant bbe, in the car already, on way home." i was quite pissed off, not that i really said much, but we agreed he'd give me the money back in school or after school the next day (tuesday).
i was off school on tuesday, but we were supposed to be meeting up after, but, what a suprise, he blanked me all day, until like midnight, when i got a "wua x" text. i asked why he hadn't come out to give me my money back, and he said "me and cameron got jacked, but i'll buy some on friday when i get money." now, i know that's a load of bullshit, cause my friend hanna told me that he'd been smoking a joint on the field before school with his ex on tuesday morning, so he obviously had bought weed. but i didn't mention that, i just said "i dont want weed, i want my money back." so he said he'd give it back on friday, and i said "fine, thanks." and... he's been blanking me since then. and he's been excluded from school. apparently he got a drug search...
and basically, i know he wont meet me tonight. i'm not stupid. just incredibly gullible... it sucks :(
and there's something else he did on monday in school that i really need to mention! but i'll post it in another post, cause i should really stop rambling for now...
we made you - eminem
medicine ball - eminem
stay wide awake - eminem
old time's sake - eminem feat. dr dre
update: tom's a dick. a complete dick.
wanna know the story? it's a pretty long one, starting last weekend... well, okay, since you insist...
basically, every day last weekend, we were supposed to be meeting up. and every evening, i just got blanked. there were actually a few excuses though, so i didn't mind too much. but we were supposed to be meeting up monday afternoon (the only time we'd have actually ever met up during the day instead of at night...), and instead, he blanked me all afternoon, and called me at about 9, saying "come out to the garages by your house. bring a tenner." i didn't really have the money, but i said "sure".
i went to meet him, and he told me the plan. i'd give him the £10, him and cameron (random kid he was with who i'd never met before) would go and get the weed while i waited at my house, then he'd call me when they were back, and i'd come out and we'd smoke it. i reluctantly handed over the tenner- when i'd asked him why i was paying for the lot (we were only getting a ten bit), he said he'd buy on friday to pay me back- and went home.
he called me about 10 minutes later and said "it's too last, we cant get it, i'm gonna go home." i was pissed off- he'd promised he wouldn't do that, but i just said, "fine, but only if we meet up now and you give me my money back." he hung up on me, then texted me saying "cant bbe, in the car already, on way home." i was quite pissed off, not that i really said much, but we agreed he'd give me the money back in school or after school the next day (tuesday).
i was off school on tuesday, but we were supposed to be meeting up after, but, what a suprise, he blanked me all day, until like midnight, when i got a "wua x" text. i asked why he hadn't come out to give me my money back, and he said "me and cameron got jacked, but i'll buy some on friday when i get money." now, i know that's a load of bullshit, cause my friend hanna told me that he'd been smoking a joint on the field before school with his ex on tuesday morning, so he obviously had bought weed. but i didn't mention that, i just said "i dont want weed, i want my money back." so he said he'd give it back on friday, and i said "fine, thanks." and... he's been blanking me since then. and he's been excluded from school. apparently he got a drug search...
and basically, i know he wont meet me tonight. i'm not stupid. just incredibly gullible... it sucks :(
and there's something else he did on monday in school that i really need to mention! but i'll post it in another post, cause i should really stop rambling for now...
we made you - eminem
medicine ball - eminem
stay wide awake - eminem
old time's sake - eminem feat. dr dre
December 15, 2009
10. god.
just read the bit on my profile where i say i'm a christian...
it's pretty bad that i have to read my online profile before i remember things like that.
and it's reminded me, i never pray, i dont read the bible, i very rarely go to church, i'm not really a good christian..
and obviously, i know, i sin ALL the time. well, i dont know if some of them are sins, but still.
are drugs, alcohol and smoking sins? well who cares, they're bad, and i assume god wouldn't approve. except for weed, god created weed as a present for us, i'm sure :)
and i know stealing is a sin... do that waaaaay too much.
actually, i'm pretty sure it's in the bible somewhere that if you do something against the law, then it's against god too, so everything i do against the law is a sin...
shit.
i really am a crap christian...
but ah well. i'll start my praying (which i'm actually gonna give a go after i've done this post) by saying sorry for all that.
i've been thinking, would god mind me smoking? it's not against the law for me to- i'm 16.
but then again, i dont think he'd like people harming the bodies he gave them...
then again, i think he'd be more pissed off by all the self-harm and suicide attempts that used to happen than a bit of 'harmless' destroying my lungs...
completely changing the subject, i LOVE system of a down.
i used to love them when i was really little (before everyone loved them and they became 'cool' really lol), and i still do, but i hardly listen to them now, cause for some reason, some of the albums on my ipod dont play properly, and all my system of a down albums (all of them lol) dont work...
for some reason, it's only my rock and metal music that's like that.
which is probably what contributed to me becoming a big fat chav.
well, not the big and fat bit. it's the drugs in my life that are conspiring to make me fat, (the pill and weed, i mean).
then again, i was complaining about very that yesterday (i tend to take the piss out of myself constantly to make people laugh- probably not a good thing?), and i got a "but, you're not fat at all. you're fine the way you are." it really took me by suprise, mostly cause unlike all my mates, i cant just push the compliment away saying that he's just trying to make me feel better, cause he's not a close mate, and has no reason to lie to me to make me feel better. therefore, maybe he was telling the truth? i dont know. nowadays i'm too paranoid about my weight and stuff. i mean, alot less than i used to be, i mean, i'm not anorexic now, for one thing, but i'm still not really 100% better...
why am i such a mess?!
and why am i complaining to much today?
and why is this like my old blogs?
i was gonna try and keep this one pretty happy, but ah well :/
didn't work lol.
anyway, i should go.
peace out. x
revenga - system of a down
radio/video - system of a down
toxicity - system of a down
sad statue - system of a down
it's pretty bad that i have to read my online profile before i remember things like that.
and it's reminded me, i never pray, i dont read the bible, i very rarely go to church, i'm not really a good christian..
and obviously, i know, i sin ALL the time. well, i dont know if some of them are sins, but still.
are drugs, alcohol and smoking sins? well who cares, they're bad, and i assume god wouldn't approve. except for weed, god created weed as a present for us, i'm sure :)
and i know stealing is a sin... do that waaaaay too much.
actually, i'm pretty sure it's in the bible somewhere that if you do something against the law, then it's against god too, so everything i do against the law is a sin...
shit.
i really am a crap christian...
but ah well. i'll start my praying (which i'm actually gonna give a go after i've done this post) by saying sorry for all that.
i've been thinking, would god mind me smoking? it's not against the law for me to- i'm 16.
but then again, i dont think he'd like people harming the bodies he gave them...
then again, i think he'd be more pissed off by all the self-harm and suicide attempts that used to happen than a bit of 'harmless' destroying my lungs...
completely changing the subject, i LOVE system of a down.
i used to love them when i was really little (before everyone loved them and they became 'cool' really lol), and i still do, but i hardly listen to them now, cause for some reason, some of the albums on my ipod dont play properly, and all my system of a down albums (all of them lol) dont work...
for some reason, it's only my rock and metal music that's like that.
which is probably what contributed to me becoming a big fat chav.
well, not the big and fat bit. it's the drugs in my life that are conspiring to make me fat, (the pill and weed, i mean).
then again, i was complaining about very that yesterday (i tend to take the piss out of myself constantly to make people laugh- probably not a good thing?), and i got a "but, you're not fat at all. you're fine the way you are." it really took me by suprise, mostly cause unlike all my mates, i cant just push the compliment away saying that he's just trying to make me feel better, cause he's not a close mate, and has no reason to lie to me to make me feel better. therefore, maybe he was telling the truth? i dont know. nowadays i'm too paranoid about my weight and stuff. i mean, alot less than i used to be, i mean, i'm not anorexic now, for one thing, but i'm still not really 100% better...
why am i such a mess?!
and why am i complaining to much today?
and why is this like my old blogs?
i was gonna try and keep this one pretty happy, but ah well :/
didn't work lol.
anyway, i should go.
peace out. x
revenga - system of a down
radio/video - system of a down
toxicity - system of a down
sad statue - system of a down
9. oh god :(
i'm feeling like i used to.
really depressed, sort of empty, everythings pointless.
it's such a crap feeling, but i know it'll pass.
anyway, on a more cheerful note...
i'm ill today, so i have to stay in. which, considering tom got a tenner off me yesterday and promised to give me it back today, is pretty shit.
last night, he said i had to pay for the weed, cause he'd be paying on friday. i said, alright. cause i'm a sucker.
and he took the money, said "go home for like 20 minutes while we go pick up, i'll call you when we should meet back."
then he fucking calls me, says "nobody has any ten's tonight, what a shame, i gotta go anyway, i'll give you the money back tomorrow."
i was so pissed off lol.
but oh well, guys are dickheads, that's the way things go.
speaking of dickheadish guys, franky, the ex, has been posting things on facebook all yesterday and this morning about me, then deleting it if i comment.
the latest one says that i'm a 'slaggish bitch'.
but... i'm not a slag. the only person i've ever slept with is him.
and i'm not a bitch... i broke up with him for a lot of reasons, but none of them were to hurt him- i wanted to try and do it in the least painful way possible! and all i want is for him to get over me.
but he's just being a spiteful dickhead at the moment.
WHY ARE GUYS SUCH DICKS?!
oh, and continuing the bad news, i have an afterschool detention tomorrow.
for skipping lessons in town. dont really care though, nothing better to do.
and continuing the bad news, something which actually really upset me,
my ipod got confiscated first lesson on monday, and i'm not getting it back til the end of friday.
i dont know how to survive without music :(
i'm listening to music on spotify at the moment, but it's not great, and obviously it doesn't work if i'm not on the computer...
oh, and i have 2 exams tomorrow i only found out about yesterday.
i'm so ill and depressed today, i think i might just sleep all day, meet up with tom, get really high, then sleep again.
that sounds good to me.
well, better than sitting on facebook and this all day making pointless posts and listening to music.
if i had some good films, i could lay in bed all day, but i dont, and i wont be able to sleep cause i have a high temperature and i'm not tired...
SUCKISH.
i'm gonna go, before i complain any more, cause i know when i read this back through, i'm gonna see it as so pathetic...
underground - eminem
b.y.o.b - system of a down
really depressed, sort of empty, everythings pointless.
it's such a crap feeling, but i know it'll pass.
anyway, on a more cheerful note...
i'm ill today, so i have to stay in. which, considering tom got a tenner off me yesterday and promised to give me it back today, is pretty shit.
last night, he said i had to pay for the weed, cause he'd be paying on friday. i said, alright. cause i'm a sucker.
and he took the money, said "go home for like 20 minutes while we go pick up, i'll call you when we should meet back."
then he fucking calls me, says "nobody has any ten's tonight, what a shame, i gotta go anyway, i'll give you the money back tomorrow."
i was so pissed off lol.
but oh well, guys are dickheads, that's the way things go.
speaking of dickheadish guys, franky, the ex, has been posting things on facebook all yesterday and this morning about me, then deleting it if i comment.
the latest one says that i'm a 'slaggish bitch'.
but... i'm not a slag. the only person i've ever slept with is him.
and i'm not a bitch... i broke up with him for a lot of reasons, but none of them were to hurt him- i wanted to try and do it in the least painful way possible! and all i want is for him to get over me.
but he's just being a spiteful dickhead at the moment.
WHY ARE GUYS SUCH DICKS?!
oh, and continuing the bad news, i have an afterschool detention tomorrow.
for skipping lessons in town. dont really care though, nothing better to do.
and continuing the bad news, something which actually really upset me,
my ipod got confiscated first lesson on monday, and i'm not getting it back til the end of friday.
i dont know how to survive without music :(
i'm listening to music on spotify at the moment, but it's not great, and obviously it doesn't work if i'm not on the computer...
oh, and i have 2 exams tomorrow i only found out about yesterday.
i'm so ill and depressed today, i think i might just sleep all day, meet up with tom, get really high, then sleep again.
that sounds good to me.
well, better than sitting on facebook and this all day making pointless posts and listening to music.
if i had some good films, i could lay in bed all day, but i dont, and i wont be able to sleep cause i have a high temperature and i'm not tired...
SUCKISH.
i'm gonna go, before i complain any more, cause i know when i read this back through, i'm gonna see it as so pathetic...
underground - eminem
b.y.o.b - system of a down
December 12, 2009
8. :)
my mood changes so often it's unreal.
but at the moment, i'm quite high, so i'm feeling fairly chilled out :)
i'm goin out again in a bit with tom, to smoke some more.
unless he cancels again, that is...
anyway, recently got eminem's album relapse, it's really good :)
been listening to it all day.
i always feel like writing loads, but then when i start writing, i cant even think of anything to put.
ah well :)
i was more high earlier, but still feelin it quite a bit :)
okay, well tom just cancelled.
dont mind that much though, couldn't really be bothered to go out.
the great thing about weed is that people can be assholes to me and i dont care :)
i'm gonna go to the shop to see the guy who works there who serves me cigs and lighters :)
peace outtt. x
must be the ganja - eminem
3am - eminem
but at the moment, i'm quite high, so i'm feeling fairly chilled out :)
i'm goin out again in a bit with tom, to smoke some more.
unless he cancels again, that is...
anyway, recently got eminem's album relapse, it's really good :)
been listening to it all day.
i always feel like writing loads, but then when i start writing, i cant even think of anything to put.
ah well :)
i was more high earlier, but still feelin it quite a bit :)
okay, well tom just cancelled.
dont mind that much though, couldn't really be bothered to go out.
the great thing about weed is that people can be assholes to me and i dont care :)
i'm gonna go to the shop to see the guy who works there who serves me cigs and lighters :)
peace outtt. x
must be the ganja - eminem
3am - eminem
December 11, 2009
7. GIG :D
well, was supposed to be staying round at toms tonight.
but guess what was cancelled at the last second by the stupid prick?!
yeah, the staying round. and the meeting up. and the smoking weed. and everyfuckingthing.
oh well :/
instead, i'm gonna go to a local gig with a bunch of bands playing (one of which ollie's in, so i'll probably be seeing him for a bit :D) and i'm going with a bunch of mates, and i'm gonna have a laugh.
so fuck tom.
and fuck franky too, the stupid dick. he's really pissing me off at the moment. but i'm gonna go to his on the way to the gig to get my gloves back. and give him his socks...
dont ask why i had his socks at my house. it's a long story... but i have 3 pairs lol.
anyway, i want to keep writing, as always, but i dont actually have anything interesting to say (as usual then), so i'm gonna stop now :)
peace out :D x
looking up - paramore
where the lines overlap - paramore
but guess what was cancelled at the last second by the stupid prick?!
yeah, the staying round. and the meeting up. and the smoking weed. and everyfuckingthing.
oh well :/
instead, i'm gonna go to a local gig with a bunch of bands playing (one of which ollie's in, so i'll probably be seeing him for a bit :D) and i'm going with a bunch of mates, and i'm gonna have a laugh.
so fuck tom.
and fuck franky too, the stupid dick. he's really pissing me off at the moment. but i'm gonna go to his on the way to the gig to get my gloves back. and give him his socks...
dont ask why i had his socks at my house. it's a long story... but i have 3 pairs lol.
anyway, i want to keep writing, as always, but i dont actually have anything interesting to say (as usual then), so i'm gonna stop now :)
peace out :D x
looking up - paramore
where the lines overlap - paramore
December 10, 2009
6. bad mood :(
i've had the most boring afternoon of my life, so i'm in a well bad mood. i was supposed to be meeting up with tom, but there's a youth bus that goes round the town where i live, and he always goes on it on thursdays and some fridays, so in the end, we didn't meet up. then i was supposed to be meeting up with ollie, but when i texted him "okay, where do you wanna meet?" he just didn't reply. for like 2 hours. so i decided i needed some fresh air... okay, a fag. so i walked round the shop (the youth bus parks outside it) and as i was standing outside the shop finishing off my cigarette, i heard "MEGAN!" and looked over to see keiran (toms mate, he's quite nice, and very short) and tom and some other kid having a fag outside the bus. i walked over, got a quick "hey", then got ignored completely for like 5 minutes while they chatted shit and took the piss out of each other. then tom just went back in the bus, i didn't even get a goodbye. i was left standing with keiran. i then just went "right, i'm goin to the shop", and walked off. dont even remember if anyone said bye. the only thing tom said to me the whole time was "you still staying round on friday?"
i said to my friend on the phone, as i was on my way home, if he wants to get on me, he's gonna at least ACT like he gives a shit about me... then she responded with "not really, i mean, you're still staying round his tomorrow. it's just gonna be you and him, and you have a condom in your bag, and you're both gonna be stoned. you're obviously gonna be fucking him." i didn't really have a response, except "yeah, good point. shit." what is it that makes all girls fall for dickheads?!
maybe it's just that all guys are dickheads, so we dont really have a choice. the very few guys that are actually decent are either bloody asexual, or with girls who SO dont deserve them.
***
great, tom just texted me saying this:
"u myte nt be able to sleep at myne bbe soRRY MX MUM IS BEING HARSH X X"
i just texted back "nw :P xx" and got a "lol x" back.
well, i suppose that gets me out of making a mistake.
for a day or two, anyway.
last night, we were texting, and he was telling me that he's shagged 5 people. and that out of our year, the people he'd shag are me and jade. jade being like the prettiest, slaggiest girl in our year. and he said he'd rather fuck me. so, woo, feeling rather honored to be in jades league.
...the sad thing is that that wasn't sarcastic...
anyway, what kind of dickhead tells the girl he's trying to go out with that he wants to shag somebody else?! what happened to the time when guys at very least LIED to make girls like them?! instead of just openly being dickheads.
oh well. i should stop complaining. really, i should. but i've had a shitty afternoon, and i cant seem to shake this bad mood. that's what guys do to you, i guess. not that girls are any better. anyway, COMPLAINING OVER :) i should probably go now, mainly cause i just wrote the longest post ever, and i try to keep my posts short so that even though they're boring as fuck, they're easy to read. so, bye, peace out. x
diamond rings - chipmunk feat. emeli sande
not fair - lily allen
mama do (uh oh uh oh) - pixie lott
please dont leave me - pink
untouched - the veronicas
waking up in vegas - katy perry
i said to my friend on the phone, as i was on my way home, if he wants to get on me, he's gonna at least ACT like he gives a shit about me... then she responded with "not really, i mean, you're still staying round his tomorrow. it's just gonna be you and him, and you have a condom in your bag, and you're both gonna be stoned. you're obviously gonna be fucking him." i didn't really have a response, except "yeah, good point. shit." what is it that makes all girls fall for dickheads?!
maybe it's just that all guys are dickheads, so we dont really have a choice. the very few guys that are actually decent are either bloody asexual, or with girls who SO dont deserve them.
***
great, tom just texted me saying this:
"u myte nt be able to sleep at myne bbe soRRY MX MUM IS BEING HARSH X X"
i just texted back "nw :P xx" and got a "lol x" back.
well, i suppose that gets me out of making a mistake.
for a day or two, anyway.
last night, we were texting, and he was telling me that he's shagged 5 people. and that out of our year, the people he'd shag are me and jade. jade being like the prettiest, slaggiest girl in our year. and he said he'd rather fuck me. so, woo, feeling rather honored to be in jades league.
...the sad thing is that that wasn't sarcastic...
anyway, what kind of dickhead tells the girl he's trying to go out with that he wants to shag somebody else?! what happened to the time when guys at very least LIED to make girls like them?! instead of just openly being dickheads.
oh well. i should stop complaining. really, i should. but i've had a shitty afternoon, and i cant seem to shake this bad mood. that's what guys do to you, i guess. not that girls are any better. anyway, COMPLAINING OVER :) i should probably go now, mainly cause i just wrote the longest post ever, and i try to keep my posts short so that even though they're boring as fuck, they're easy to read. so, bye, peace out. x
diamond rings - chipmunk feat. emeli sande
not fair - lily allen
mama do (uh oh uh oh) - pixie lott
please dont leave me - pink
untouched - the veronicas
waking up in vegas - katy perry
December 09, 2009
5. happy :D
in a well good mood :)
met up with tom, had a laugh :)
staying round his on friday :D
i have a problem... i'm on the pill, but it's the week when i'm not supposed to take it, so i haven't taken it since sunday.
i'm supposed to start the next pack on monday, but if i'm staying round toms on friday, then really, i should start taking it again tomorrow.
not sure if i will :/
then again, i really wanna stay round toms :D
ooh, just remembered something else i need to mention :D
i might be going to see paramore on the 18th :)
that would be great, and i'd be going with some girl i havent seen in 9 years :P
went to my primary school, and i added her on facebook, and she was announcing a spare ticket, so i was just like "fuck yeah! i'll go!" :D
anyway, i gotta go.
tempted to write more, but i wanna leave it a short post, plus i cant really concentrate at the moment cause people keep talking to me, so i should leave it.
BYEE (: x
suffer - staind
kiss me thru the phone - soulja boy tell 'em feat. sammie
points of authority - linkin park
consequence - incubus
met up with tom, had a laugh :)
staying round his on friday :D
i have a problem... i'm on the pill, but it's the week when i'm not supposed to take it, so i haven't taken it since sunday.
i'm supposed to start the next pack on monday, but if i'm staying round toms on friday, then really, i should start taking it again tomorrow.
not sure if i will :/
then again, i really wanna stay round toms :D
ooh, just remembered something else i need to mention :D
i might be going to see paramore on the 18th :)
that would be great, and i'd be going with some girl i havent seen in 9 years :P
went to my primary school, and i added her on facebook, and she was announcing a spare ticket, so i was just like "fuck yeah! i'll go!" :D
anyway, i gotta go.
tempted to write more, but i wanna leave it a short post, plus i cant really concentrate at the moment cause people keep talking to me, so i should leave it.
BYEE (: x
suffer - staind
kiss me thru the phone - soulja boy tell 'em feat. sammie
points of authority - linkin park
consequence - incubus
December 08, 2009
4. okay, it wasn't marijuana, it was "high", i couldn't remember. STILL, it's a cool definition :)
obviously, i didn't write this. it's off http://www.urbandictionary.com/
HIGH.
being high is probably one of the funnest things you can do. you simply cannot deny that if you smoke. if you don’t smoke, don’t continue to read this. you will not comprehend anything you are about to read.
---
when you are high, your life becomes so much more vulnerable to fun and excitement, the littlest things become too entertaining to describe.
---
t.v. is always so much more entertaining when under the influence of marijuana; for example:
music videos always seem SO much more amazing.
random, annoying t.v. shows that normally seem irritating and scripted, such as maury or jerry springer, all of a sudden seem SO enthralling and intense.
you also discover what shows and movies were written by people whom were high.
every show has someone who 'looks like someone you know'.
you discover that a black women's restriction to beating their boyfriend’s ass is to bounce their knees up and down on their chair real quick and bob their head around a lot and swear and wave their arms. they also repeat sentences or numerous words over and over again. like, 'oh you already know, you already know'.
background music in commercials are incredibly fun to dance to. it all sounds like techno for some reason.
shows like family guy and movies like half baked finally make SO much sense. matter of fact, so does a lot of other things.
---
eating is always much more pleasurable,
every food seems exotic and foreign in taste.
eating seems to bring down your high though, and makes it seem much shorter. you may discover not eating makes your high seem SO much longer.
you consume things you normally never would have, and wonder how you lived without it.
every food you can't stop eating is automatically you're legit 'munchie food'
---
you recall past memories from your childhood that you hadn't thought about in years.
you know you're high when you do random little jigs to yourself.
houses you’ve rarely been in are especially fun when you’re high.
almost everyone goes through the ‘laughing fit’, where you laugh so hard over absolutely nothing that your insides are completely sore. this is rare after a long time of smoking, though.
an intense feeling of confusion inserts into your brain and you find simple things like rainfall to be ridiculously hard to understand and interesting.
being your complete self doesn't seem that hard to do anymore.
there’s almost always a permanent smile on your face, it’s hard to make it go away, even while your preparing the 4 bags of tostitos to make nachos for 2.
you have consistent 'revelations' and try your hardest to explain what you found out.
everyone, and everyTHING, you see, ‘knows’ you’re high, from your younger brother who walked by and said ‘what’s up’ to the squirrel you had to pass by on the way back inside.
you spray every febreeze, axe can, and perfume bottle you see on everyone and everything you feel smoke smell is evaporating off of.
not a lot seems to be bothering you anymore, and tomorrow seems light-years away. you just want to live for the moment.
insignificant, diminutive noises, such as birds chirping, seem very loud and unnoticed before that very moment.
---
when you are high, music sounds overall godlike.
parts or solo's in songs occur, but you've never once heard of them before. being high made you listen.
dancing comes as natural as breathing.
strobe lights/and or black lights always enhance your dancing mood.
---
be careful when amongst parents or other weed-hating people, it may be very obvious you are under the influence of such grand highness. your eyes will be very glossy, almost looking like that of a doll. they are also slightly tinted red, a dead give away. not to mention how tired and squinty they will be. the smell of weed smoke doesn’t last as long as that of a cigarette’s, but it is still always good to spray and maybe use a few eye drops.
---
most common terms for weed consist of:
‘pot’
‘bud’
‘maryjane’
‘grass’
‘trees’
‘ganja’
and obviously plenty of others
---
remember, this fascinating plant came from this earth, and it’d be a tragedy to waste it’s valuable recourses.
HIGH.
being high is probably one of the funnest things you can do. you simply cannot deny that if you smoke. if you don’t smoke, don’t continue to read this. you will not comprehend anything you are about to read.
---
when you are high, your life becomes so much more vulnerable to fun and excitement, the littlest things become too entertaining to describe.
---
t.v. is always so much more entertaining when under the influence of marijuana; for example:
music videos always seem SO much more amazing.
random, annoying t.v. shows that normally seem irritating and scripted, such as maury or jerry springer, all of a sudden seem SO enthralling and intense.
you also discover what shows and movies were written by people whom were high.
every show has someone who 'looks like someone you know'.
you discover that a black women's restriction to beating their boyfriend’s ass is to bounce their knees up and down on their chair real quick and bob their head around a lot and swear and wave their arms. they also repeat sentences or numerous words over and over again. like, 'oh you already know, you already know'.
background music in commercials are incredibly fun to dance to. it all sounds like techno for some reason.
shows like family guy and movies like half baked finally make SO much sense. matter of fact, so does a lot of other things.
---
eating is always much more pleasurable,
every food seems exotic and foreign in taste.
eating seems to bring down your high though, and makes it seem much shorter. you may discover not eating makes your high seem SO much longer.
you consume things you normally never would have, and wonder how you lived without it.
every food you can't stop eating is automatically you're legit 'munchie food'
---
you recall past memories from your childhood that you hadn't thought about in years.
you know you're high when you do random little jigs to yourself.
houses you’ve rarely been in are especially fun when you’re high.
almost everyone goes through the ‘laughing fit’, where you laugh so hard over absolutely nothing that your insides are completely sore. this is rare after a long time of smoking, though.
an intense feeling of confusion inserts into your brain and you find simple things like rainfall to be ridiculously hard to understand and interesting.
being your complete self doesn't seem that hard to do anymore.
there’s almost always a permanent smile on your face, it’s hard to make it go away, even while your preparing the 4 bags of tostitos to make nachos for 2.
you have consistent 'revelations' and try your hardest to explain what you found out.
everyone, and everyTHING, you see, ‘knows’ you’re high, from your younger brother who walked by and said ‘what’s up’ to the squirrel you had to pass by on the way back inside.
you spray every febreeze, axe can, and perfume bottle you see on everyone and everything you feel smoke smell is evaporating off of.
not a lot seems to be bothering you anymore, and tomorrow seems light-years away. you just want to live for the moment.
insignificant, diminutive noises, such as birds chirping, seem very loud and unnoticed before that very moment.
---
when you are high, music sounds overall godlike.
parts or solo's in songs occur, but you've never once heard of them before. being high made you listen.
dancing comes as natural as breathing.
strobe lights/and or black lights always enhance your dancing mood.
---
be careful when amongst parents or other weed-hating people, it may be very obvious you are under the influence of such grand highness. your eyes will be very glossy, almost looking like that of a doll. they are also slightly tinted red, a dead give away. not to mention how tired and squinty they will be. the smell of weed smoke doesn’t last as long as that of a cigarette’s, but it is still always good to spray and maybe use a few eye drops.
---
most common terms for weed consist of:
‘pot’
‘bud’
‘maryjane’
‘grass’
‘trees’
‘ganja’
and obviously plenty of others
---
remember, this fascinating plant came from this earth, and it’d be a tragedy to waste it’s valuable recourses.
3. i'll try not to go on and on...
but probably wont succeed very well...
at the moment i'm very conflicted with the whole love-life thing.
maybe i should try being a decent christian for once, and just try NOT being in relationships and stuff.
it's so hard though, and i dont really WANT to, so i might just scrap that idea.
but at the moment, there's the very recent ex, the guy i like who's too immature, the guy that's trying (very hard) to get in my pants right now, and the other guy who's interested in somebody else, but keeps meeting up with me and flirting and stuff. also, he's best mates with the recent ex. and then there's the girl who i'm really good mates with at school who's totally straight and i've liked for years.
how do i deal with all this without hurting the ex, or the 3 guys that seem to be interested right now?!
and even then, even if i somehow decide something that works out for everyone, will it be right for me?!
the most conveniant thing, really, would be to go out with the guy i really like, but keep seeing the other two guys, and stay friends with the ex, and forget about the girl.
BUT, i dont know if i can do that. or want to.
besides, cheating on people tends to get you a bit of a bad reputation. it would also slightly make me a bitch. so i probably wont be doing that.
i want to stay friends with the ex, but i need some space, and he's being way too stalkerish at the moment..
he hasn't stopped talking to me since we broke up. i've had death threat voicemails, love letters, begging "please take me back!" texts, and turning up at my house at about 7 in the morning after staying up all night to give me a memory stick full of music and a cigarette. RANDOM AS FUCK, but y'know, that's life.
i wish i was still on holiday, away from everything.
it feels so long ago (well i guess it was like half a year ago), but at the same time, i remember some of it so well.
something that made me think of it, actually, was one of the guys that seems to like me right now (met up with him on saturday and ended up getting off with him- BAD TIMES) really reminds me of this guy i met on holiday. he's really funny, and it's just the way he talks, i think. plus he's quite big (big-built, not fat), and gives great hugs, just like the holiday guy.
this is going to get so confusing if i dont use any names. and to be honest, if anybody comes across this blog, it's got my name and picture, so they're probably gonna know who's writing if they know me, in which case they'll realise who i'm talking about anyway.
so i'm gonna explain about a few people now...
franky. the ex.
ollie. nice, funny guy, who likes me. but, he's a complete SLAG, and fucks everybody. in the words of a few of my mates, "are you insane?! you probably got about 50 diseases just from kissing him!"
tom. the guy i really like. he's in my year though, and therefore VERY immature.
vicky. girl mate who i've liked for ages.
i'm sure i'll explain other people some other time, but i want to end this blog soon, since it's a long, rambling mess...
i'm listening to my ipod on shuffle, which is probably why my thoughts are all over the place.
hence the list of random tunes at the end of this post.
ooh, for some random reason, i've just thought of something else! (oh god, i so just proved my point, but STILL, it's a good idea, i think!)
i'm gonna post one more thing today, it's a description of marijuana on www.urbandictionary.com. i'll paste it into a new post now :)
i read it the other day, and it's so good, i just have to share it :)
i slept with somebody in fall out boy and all i got was this stupid song written about me - fall out boy.
cloud nine - evanescence.
keeper - yellowcard.
plastic surgery slumber party - jeffree star.
contagious - avril lavigne.
falling down - the birthday massacre.
starstruck - lady gaga, feat. flo rida and space cowboy.
at the moment i'm very conflicted with the whole love-life thing.
maybe i should try being a decent christian for once, and just try NOT being in relationships and stuff.
it's so hard though, and i dont really WANT to, so i might just scrap that idea.
but at the moment, there's the very recent ex, the guy i like who's too immature, the guy that's trying (very hard) to get in my pants right now, and the other guy who's interested in somebody else, but keeps meeting up with me and flirting and stuff. also, he's best mates with the recent ex. and then there's the girl who i'm really good mates with at school who's totally straight and i've liked for years.
how do i deal with all this without hurting the ex, or the 3 guys that seem to be interested right now?!
and even then, even if i somehow decide something that works out for everyone, will it be right for me?!
the most conveniant thing, really, would be to go out with the guy i really like, but keep seeing the other two guys, and stay friends with the ex, and forget about the girl.
BUT, i dont know if i can do that. or want to.
besides, cheating on people tends to get you a bit of a bad reputation. it would also slightly make me a bitch. so i probably wont be doing that.
i want to stay friends with the ex, but i need some space, and he's being way too stalkerish at the moment..
he hasn't stopped talking to me since we broke up. i've had death threat voicemails, love letters, begging "please take me back!" texts, and turning up at my house at about 7 in the morning after staying up all night to give me a memory stick full of music and a cigarette. RANDOM AS FUCK, but y'know, that's life.
i wish i was still on holiday, away from everything.
it feels so long ago (well i guess it was like half a year ago), but at the same time, i remember some of it so well.
something that made me think of it, actually, was one of the guys that seems to like me right now (met up with him on saturday and ended up getting off with him- BAD TIMES) really reminds me of this guy i met on holiday. he's really funny, and it's just the way he talks, i think. plus he's quite big (big-built, not fat), and gives great hugs, just like the holiday guy.
this is going to get so confusing if i dont use any names. and to be honest, if anybody comes across this blog, it's got my name and picture, so they're probably gonna know who's writing if they know me, in which case they'll realise who i'm talking about anyway.
so i'm gonna explain about a few people now...
franky. the ex.
ollie. nice, funny guy, who likes me. but, he's a complete SLAG, and fucks everybody. in the words of a few of my mates, "are you insane?! you probably got about 50 diseases just from kissing him!"
tom. the guy i really like. he's in my year though, and therefore VERY immature.
vicky. girl mate who i've liked for ages.
i'm sure i'll explain other people some other time, but i want to end this blog soon, since it's a long, rambling mess...
i'm listening to my ipod on shuffle, which is probably why my thoughts are all over the place.
hence the list of random tunes at the end of this post.
ooh, for some random reason, i've just thought of something else! (oh god, i so just proved my point, but STILL, it's a good idea, i think!)
i'm gonna post one more thing today, it's a description of marijuana on www.urbandictionary.com. i'll paste it into a new post now :)
i read it the other day, and it's so good, i just have to share it :)
i slept with somebody in fall out boy and all i got was this stupid song written about me - fall out boy.
cloud nine - evanescence.
keeper - yellowcard.
plastic surgery slumber party - jeffree star.
contagious - avril lavigne.
falling down - the birthday massacre.
starstruck - lady gaga, feat. flo rida and space cowboy.
2. right, i wont be interrupted this time...
well, sorry, but i dont like leaving things half-finished..
anyway, just something about the next few weeks :)
on the sunday after the last week of school (i think it's the 20th), i'm going out for a meal with all my friends at the chinese :)
that should be pretty good, but i dont really have the money.
on that sunday night, the bridge club in oxford has an under-18's night that one of my mates wants to go to, but i'm not sure if i'll be done with the meal.
i'm at my dads that weekend anyway, so i'm not sure if i'll be allowed to do anything.
also happening that weekend...
maaaaaaaaaaybe...
this girl i met on holiday this year, lydia, might be coming to stay on the friday.
but i have a problem- i wont be able to go out!
we cant stay in- for one thing, it's friday night, for another, i'm not good at entertaining people.
but she wont want to go out with my friends.
they drink, they smoke, they steal, they smoke weed, they're generally, well, like me.
BUT, lydia met me away from all that, so she doesn't really know what i'm like.
but if she comes to stay, she'll find out i'm horrible and she wont like me any more.
i just wish people weren't so quick to judge, but i guess most people are.
i mean, i try very hard not to be, but occasionally i am.
oh well, i'm not sure if she's coming anyway. it would be a bit weird, cause i'm at my dads.
if i was at my mums, yeah, i'd be embarrassed about her seeing the state of my house, and she'd probably have to sleep on the floor (she doesn't seem like the time to share beds wish her friends), but there wouldn't be the added stress of retarded parents.
they always know how to ruin everything.
at least my mums only retarded half the time...
she's asleep the rest of the time :)
anyway, i should go.
i have a tendancy (since i dont talk that much) of rambling on and on and on every time i get the change, so i'm making myself stop now :)
peace out, megan. x
jumping all over the world - scooter.
who makes you feel - dido.
bad habit - the dresden dolls.
anyway, just something about the next few weeks :)
on the sunday after the last week of school (i think it's the 20th), i'm going out for a meal with all my friends at the chinese :)
that should be pretty good, but i dont really have the money.
on that sunday night, the bridge club in oxford has an under-18's night that one of my mates wants to go to, but i'm not sure if i'll be done with the meal.
i'm at my dads that weekend anyway, so i'm not sure if i'll be allowed to do anything.
also happening that weekend...
maaaaaaaaaaybe...
this girl i met on holiday this year, lydia, might be coming to stay on the friday.
but i have a problem- i wont be able to go out!
we cant stay in- for one thing, it's friday night, for another, i'm not good at entertaining people.
but she wont want to go out with my friends.
they drink, they smoke, they steal, they smoke weed, they're generally, well, like me.
BUT, lydia met me away from all that, so she doesn't really know what i'm like.
but if she comes to stay, she'll find out i'm horrible and she wont like me any more.
i just wish people weren't so quick to judge, but i guess most people are.
i mean, i try very hard not to be, but occasionally i am.
oh well, i'm not sure if she's coming anyway. it would be a bit weird, cause i'm at my dads.
if i was at my mums, yeah, i'd be embarrassed about her seeing the state of my house, and she'd probably have to sleep on the floor (she doesn't seem like the time to share beds wish her friends), but there wouldn't be the added stress of retarded parents.
they always know how to ruin everything.
at least my mums only retarded half the time...
she's asleep the rest of the time :)
anyway, i should go.
i have a tendancy (since i dont talk that much) of rambling on and on and on every time i get the change, so i'm making myself stop now :)
peace out, megan. x
jumping all over the world - scooter.
who makes you feel - dido.
bad habit - the dresden dolls.
1. another first blog.
well, this has gotta be like the 7th blog i've started, by now...
i used to write on the old one all the time, but then there were a few busy months, and, what do ya know, i forgot my fucking password... and email address. i'm smart like that.
anyway, i'm megan, i'm 16, i'm a christian, i'm bisexual, i'm stupidly shy, and so i dont ever talk unless i'm only with one person... or stupidly drunk/high.
recently (as in a few days ago) broke up with my boyfriend.
he was clingy, and a bit obsessive, and wanted to like move in together and stuff.
i was like... SHIT :
so yeah, and i'm a bitch, so i let this go on for ages, not having the courage to just end it, and now i have.
and i really like this other guy, but he's currently blanking me for unknown reasons...
but OH WELL.
i tend to go on about guys alot, but i'll try not to, cause it's fucking boring. and annoying.
not that anybody's gonna read this anyway, well my blogs never usually get read...
oh well :)
i gotta go now anyway, so peace out,
megan. x
chump - green day.
final goodbye - rihanna.
last post on the bugle - the libertines.
i used to write on the old one all the time, but then there were a few busy months, and, what do ya know, i forgot my fucking password... and email address. i'm smart like that.
anyway, i'm megan, i'm 16, i'm a christian, i'm bisexual, i'm stupidly shy, and so i dont ever talk unless i'm only with one person... or stupidly drunk/high.
recently (as in a few days ago) broke up with my boyfriend.
he was clingy, and a bit obsessive, and wanted to like move in together and stuff.
i was like... SHIT :
so yeah, and i'm a bitch, so i let this go on for ages, not having the courage to just end it, and now i have.
and i really like this other guy, but he's currently blanking me for unknown reasons...
but OH WELL.
i tend to go on about guys alot, but i'll try not to, cause it's fucking boring. and annoying.
not that anybody's gonna read this anyway, well my blogs never usually get read...
oh well :)
i gotta go now anyway, so peace out,
megan. x
chump - green day.
final goodbye - rihanna.
last post on the bugle - the libertines.
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